Monday, June 13, 2011

Try something new

I tend to do things out of habit, like most I do not like to do or try anything new. It makes me uncomfortable and out of sorts. If you know me than you know how important it is for me to feel safe. New places & people tend to give me anxiety. For the most part I can hide this from others. The powers that be have decided that its time for me to grow so I have been pushed and when I say pushed, I mean pushed to do and try new things. Have I gone skydiving or bungee jumping, hell no. I have taken smaller steps like; tasting  Mexican hot candy, it about killed me. Thai & Indian food, I am a "no spice" kind of girl so, I know now not to eat them ever again, if I do it will be the coconut soup or flat bread.  Outside of food I have walked along the path behind my house (this scares the crap out of me), I am getting better about it. I know you shouldn't be afraid to walk behind your own house, I have said as much to myself on many occasion's. To help me feel better I have created a way for me to feel safe while I am walking so I can do so without panicking. Other things I have done are; drove a different way home ( not by choice, road construction caused many detours. I am counting it though), started a water zumba class and exercising at the local recreation center. By doing all these I feel I am becoming more confident in myself and knowing what I do and do not like. I encourage you to try something new. You may be surprised.

I Surrender & Trust.

Guidance for today is: Be Confident (hmmm weird), Be Brave, Maintain your Vision

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What would your bumper sticker say?

I was thumbing through a magazine this morning and I say this question. I had to laugh as I thought the saying went "What would your tombstone" say. I honestly believe I like this question better as it makes you think about where you are now and what type of message you would like others to be receiving from you. Interestingly enough my co-workers and I were discussing bumper stickers last week. My all time favorite as many of you may know is "Quick look busy Jesus is coming". When I feel down or in conflict, I recall this bumper sticker and I get a good chuckle, because is it really possible for me to look busy if Jesus already knows what is I am not doing?

I digress, the article went on about how when the author sees bumper stickers that say "honk if you like _______" would the owner of the vehicle recall the bumper sticker or think any honking being done was rude rather than in support of. The article continued on about labels and how we label ourselves. I am glad the article was short, I can see how this author came up with this perception. However, as you can see I received a totally different concept of the question "What would your bumper sticker say?"  So, as I am writing this I have had several pop into my head. I am pretty sure you have had some too. Would I place any of them on my car, no. Only because life is in constant change and I wouldn't want to say something now that I would disagree with tomorrow. 

To give you a good chuckle one I though up a few minutes ago is "Don't look, your angels are behind you." (Especially while you are driving.)

I Surrender & Trust

Monday, May 2, 2011

Courting

This is a phrase that I feel has lost its true meaning. Traditionally, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her interest in him and her receptiveness to a relationship. What I would like to know is how come this stops after they are in a relationship. If we work that hard at the possibility of a relationship, how come we stop once we have it?

I hear time and time again that the reason spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends/ significant others look outside of the relationship is because "the chase is part of the excitement." They have come to believe that the relationship they are currently in is a sure thing were as the chase is opportunity. Yet, these same individuals seem confused as to why their spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other leaves them. My comment is "I guess it wasn't as sure of a thing as you thought".

On the other side, I have individuals that have been married for 10, 15, 20 years tell me that their relationship has lost its spark and have become content and complacent with their relationship. Their excuse is "This is what happens when you have been married this long." I am here to tell you that, that is a load of crap. What is the real reason we allow our relationship to become content or complacent; We truly don't want to have to put forth the effort to "woo" or "court" our spouse. We to believe that our relationship is a "Sure thing" so why put forth the effort.

Now days we "date", this boggles my mind. It is believed that "dating" is the up to date word for "courting". For me it doesn't feel like the same word nor does it seem to have the same meaning. Say the two words and see which word resonates more with you. To me a "date" is something I have with a friend or a business associate. We do something together that doesn't require alot of interaction such as a movie, or shopping. Yes, we are spending time together, but not really putting anything of quality into it. If we do eat together it is at a fast food restaurant or a sit down place that doesn't encourage dowdling. We visit over our food and then move on. Either way how much can be exchanged in a noisy restaurant?

I honestly prefer being and doing the "courting". What does this mean? You actually plan something. Yep, I said plan. Does it have to have a specific date, nope. I am sure you have heard of random acts of kindness, my question to you is when was the last time you did this for whom ever you are in a relationship with? Here is a "courting" suggestion for you. The weather has been awesome today and it seems to be willing to hold out for the rest of the day. How about if you took time tonight as the sun is setting, grap a glass of wine(juice, soda or whatever), a blanket(lounge chairs), and your spouses hand. Go outside to sit and enjoy each others company as you watch the sunset. Yes, I encourage you to continue holding your spouses hand the whole time. To me this is "courting".

I surrender & trust

Guidance for today: Be an Activist & Commited.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Oh Behave

What does this mean? I have been told this many times and I have find myself telling my children to do so. I have client's that wish their spouses or family members would "be have". The reason for my question is due to two experiences. The first one was a young girl in my daughters dance class asking their teacher what "religion she was, if she drank caffeine and what did she do on Sunday's". The teacher handle herself very well she answered casually and moved on. This same girl was not appeased with the teachers answers and went on a litany of other question regarding her religious practices, towards the end this girl asked if "Chocolate had caffeine in it". The teacher responded with a "Yes". I believe this is the first time I have ever seen this girl stand so still and be silent. She seemed crushed by the answer, "All, chocolate?" she asked. I replied "Yes". This girl sat down in the middle of class she was so devastated.

The second experience was at the "Lady GaGa" concert I attended over the weekend. I won't say any more on that.

Both of these experiences have me asking "What does Behave mean?" Does it depended on your culture, religious, family, friends etc teachings or does it depended on the standards of society? I will be honest, the questions the girl from my daughters dance class offended me. What does it matter, if the teacher has a religious practice? Is it any business of this girl what religion the teacher is? As for the concert I loved it and felt I robbed myself of the total experience I didn't dress up. I didn't dress up as I thought I should behave. I know sounds counter productive. It was, I even had myself convinced it would have been funnier with more of my friends, as they wouldn't behave. Don't get me wrong I had a great time with my husband.

However, what caused me to behave? I am still confused on what that means. Maybe I will write about what I learn about it Thursday. Until than, Surrender & Trust.

Guidance for today: Emotions, Confidence, Activist.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Luck

What is this? According to my Oxford dictionary it means 1. Good or Bad luck. 2. Circumstances of life brought by this. If you notice neither one of these definitions states what role you may have in creating luck. I say this as I have sibling that says all the time how "If he didn't have bad luck he wouldn't have any luck at all." I on the other hand am constantly surprised at how things work out for me. Currently, I watching how luck plays out with my children. Example: My daughter wanted to buy a bag of toys for our dog. The price on it said $10 and she only had $1.50. I told her she didn't have enough, she was insistent though saying it was in the $1 box. She wouldn't listen to what I was saying, I allowed her to take it to the check out to buy it. It rang up $5.99, she informed the clerk it was in the $1 box, you know what the clerk did, yep changed it and gave it to her for the dollar. I seriously contemplated having her tell the clerk how much my groceries where. Now, I ask you was she lucky or did she create it? I say it is both. She knew it was $1 and nothing was going to change her mind. How many of us can say the same about things we want? Do we have the unwavering belief and faith that it is or do we question? I am beginning to believe that "Luck" has more to do with what we believe and our own belief on "deserving it". Cause if something good happens we question "How come". So my challenge to you this week is create your own luck. Ask for something, believing that it is yours and wait for it to appear.

I Surrender & Trust

Guidance for today is: Confidence, Speak Your Truth, Triumphant

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Comfort Zone

I have come to realize that children are here to not only drive you nuts but to push your comfort zone so you will grow. I say this as I have two children that are constantly pushing me to see things from a different point of view or do things that I am not comfortable with. I also think that teachers give homework to the children not for the children to do, but to remind their parents of things they have learned and of skills they have. My daughter is currently working on two projects; one is a science and the other a county float. The county float caused her to cheerful inform me that Utah is huge. If my children were not pushing my comfort level enough I will create a friend or other family member that will ask me to do something that I am currently not feeling comfortable with. Such as performing or conducting a memorial service. (My father-in-law has asked me to do his) I feel I have awhile before actually having to face this particular event. However, I was asked to do one for a dear friend recently (I think this was a test run). I did learn a few things that if ever asked again I would do first. For this I am grateful.
 
My question to you to day is what have you become comfortable with doing? I am comfortable with performing wedding ceremonies, so guess what, my comfort level was pushed. I told this to you as a warning. If you become to comfortable with something then puff you will be pushed to do that thing at a higher or different way. So be prepared. Getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing though, it does help you grow.  Yeah.

Side note: If you don't willingly push your comfort zone, your guides will.

I Surrender & Trust

Guidance: Generosity, Believe, Be Brave